I Thought My Seeking Had Ended

There were the years that passed

When I pursued the meaning of life –

I often did not eat,

And usually never slept.


I realized that life

Could be given several meanings –

What mattered was

How one lived.


For me I found

Writing was the only thing –

I trained in it till death –

Then the moment of truth arrived.


I chose to write on life as it was,

Thinking it would culminate

In a vision that would

Make my readers’ lives happy.


But I concluded happiness is an illusion –

The closer it gets to its destination,

The later it is for arrival –

It promises but never delivers.


Life moved on in jaunty distress,

Ever spinning, never standing,

Always becoming –

Never being.


I reasoned that I was not seeking happiness –

But a state more enlightening –
That is why I think

I am still seeking.


You may think I have wasted my life –

And you could be right,

But what choice did I have –

I walked through the only door open to me.



Suffern, New York, Dec. 28, 2016




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